tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
