Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
