I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
