Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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