I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
