I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She is in my trunk
dude i'm inner monologue high
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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