also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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