ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
