I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
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