How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
