I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just want nice things and good sex
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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