I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
