i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
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