you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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