I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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