Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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