For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
