Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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