so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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