you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
