He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I touched a dick in church today
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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