A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize