Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
