So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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