you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
