Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
