bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
