Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
