I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
