Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize