Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize