On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
