But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
