Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
