her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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