were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
