Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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