please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
