Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
