Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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