we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
