Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
