i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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