just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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