at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
