Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
