I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
