whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
