i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
