I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I forget how to act sober
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
And then he peed in my hair
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