she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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