He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
