sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
