We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
