Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
