if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
