I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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