i love accidental penises.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
